Well it is April Fool’s Day!
How Malcolm Turnbull will make Australia great again
Dave Donovan
1 April 2017
https://independentaustralia.net/life/life-display/how-malcolm-trumpbull-will-make-australia-great-
It has all become very clear. Inspired by Donald Trump, Malcolm Turnbull is on a mission to make Australia great again.
However, since Australia is already pretty darned good, he will first have to destroy the country in order to save it.
Malcolm Turnbull is determined to make Australia great again, or his middle name isn’t Bligh.
The original Bligh, as you may recall, was a British naval captain who was despised by his crew before suffering a mutiny and being put into lifeboat to perish.
Yes, Malcolm Turnbull is the prime minister we needed to have. Largely because he was the only alternative at the time to Tony Abbott, who was the prime minister we should never have had and wished we never did — but that’s another story.
Like Captain Bligh, Turnbull also suffered a mutiny in his first leadership role and almost perished from politics. However, he stayed the course and eventually reached Australia top job.
Like Turnbull, William Bligh also went on to lead the colony, where was soon similarly detested. Bligh was, in relatively short order, deposed, arrested and replaced as chief panjandrum.
It is here the comparison may diverge, with Turnbull likely to escape imprisonment. Malcolm Turnbull will make Australia great like he made himself great.
Starting life as a bumptious, unlikeable child, his father enrolled him in Sydney Grammar, where he fitted right in.
Despite his father only possessing a modest chain of Sydney hotels and the family roughing it in a penthouse on Sydney’s North Shore, somehow the Prime Minister managed to overcome the odds and become exceedingly rich.
Turnbull first caught the public eye as a barrister in the Spycatcher case in the late 1980s — a famous victory of which no-one can any longer quite remember any of the details.
Following that, he gained household name status in advance of the republic referendum of 1999. His contribution to the cause was so profound, his name is still uttered with a quiet reverence in monarchist circles.
Having headed off the republic, he soon joined the Liberal Party to become a minister in John Howard’s quasi-fascist
regime.
Turnbull knows what it takes to achieve greatness. Natural advantages, excellent contacts and at least a small initial fortune. He will apply this template to the nation.
Firstly, his cordial relationship with the Donald Trump should help boost Australia’s prestige internationally.
And secondly, by cutting company tax for corporations with a turnover of less than $50 million, Turnbull should soon turn Australia’s presently large fortune into something far more manageable.
And now with Turnbull cutting penalty rates and heading off increases to the minimum wage, Australia’s greatness is assured. The less people are paid, the more the wealthy can afford to employ.
And as we all know, to paraphrase Malcolm, there is no better form of welfare than working three part-time jobs
and living in a tent.
Let Malcolm Turnbull save Australia like he did the monarchy. Let him make Australia great again — for the great.